January 7, 2008
Sometimes he really amazes me!
Today at church the father of one of Cricket’s friends came over to chat. He said he just had to tell us how impressed he was with Cricket yesterday. Yesterday Cricket went to the park across the street to play in the snow with his friend. Other children had the same idea, and there wound up being enough for a great big snowball fight to break out, girls against boys. There was no adult supervision. No flames, please, that’s the kind of neighborhood we live in–it’s safe for a pack of tweens to play at the park. We can see the park from our window from one side, and the friend’s family can see it out their window from the other side. It’s okay, really. But at this moment in time, neither of us was looking. Evidently, friend’s little sister, who is six, came home in tears because somebody, she didn’t know who, had splatted her in the face with snow. A few minutes later, Cricket knocked on the door and said he’d come to apologize, which he promptly did. Friend’s dad was really impressed, and so is Cricket’s mom. Cricket had mentioned to me that there was a snowball fight and a lot of people, including him, got snow in their faces and one girl got upset and went home. But he didn’t mention who the principle parties in the incident were or what happened after. I am pleased to know that by the time I heard about it from the girl’s dad, Cricket had already done the manly thing and taken care of business on his own. He’s still trying to figure out where the “line” is in play “fights”–things like what to take seriously, and what’s all in fun, and when someone is having a good time, or when someone’s gone too far. But he has a good heart, and he really, really is trying. And things like this make me think he’s really catching on to some of these social skills things.
(We had a minor melt-down later in church and wound up out in the hall, so it’s not like I’m doubting his diagnosis or anything, but I have serious HOPE for him anyway.)
Susy said,
January 7, 2008 @ 8:10 am
Hey, something like that is hard for any kid! It just shows you’re raising him right. Please tell Cricket how proud we are of him for doing the right thing!
Mom said,
January 7, 2008 @ 10:36 pm
I’ve been thinking about this a bit. You know, for him this was just plain logical. If you make somebody cry, even by accident, you go apologize and make sure they’re okay. It’s the right thing to do, and you want to be a good person, so you go do the right thing. It’s just simple logic.
I sometimes wonder if it isn’t the rest of us who have social skills issues–we overcomplicate things, we read between the lines (often wrongly), and we worry what people will think. And then when we take the high road and step out of our comfort zone, we think people should be impressed. Why don’t more of us just do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do?
Susy said,
January 8, 2008 @ 9:36 am
I think because too many times we see the bad guys get away with NOT doing the right thing. Poor Chip is going through that right now, the bad kids at school get away with not doing their homework or picking on other kids and they never seem to get in trouble for it, and all he can think of is how unfair it is. He can’t see down the road to where his grades will be better or he’ll be somebody that his friends know they can trust, he just sees how the jerks seem to be having much more fun than he is. Or in Cricket’s case, he could have remained safely anonymous and not said anything, or feigned ignorance that she had gotten hurt, and never gotten called out for it. It takes bravery to admit you made a mistake and be willing to accept the consequences for your actions when you know you might get yelled at or embarrassed or punished. It’s much easier to pretend you’re perfect, even though there is no such thing. I will always be impressed when people do the right thing, since it’s such a rarity these days!
Elisheva Levin said,
January 8, 2008 @ 4:05 pm
You know, I have noticed that our Aspie kids do understand justice and charity on a general scale, but often have difficulty bringing it down to their own lives. I am thrilled to hear about Cricket’s giant leap in the social skills!
As for the melt-down, well, it’s seems it’s always two steps forward, one step back with our kids. And that’s when things are going good. Sometimes, we have those one step forwards, two steps back days!
Enjoy the moment. You need moments like this!
Mom said,
January 8, 2008 @ 7:26 pm
Yeah…Elisheva, I was going to say….only ONE step back? I sometimes think we’ve raised about seven children to age 10 so far with all the times we’ve gone back and forth over the same developmental terrain…lol. But you’re right, moments like this make it all seem worthwhile. I shall wallow thoroughly in it and overlook the tantrum.