Mom & Pop Home School

Well, so I’ve been posting Cricket’s and Sunshine’s insights about life over there in Facebook land, and I regret not copying them here too because when I put them here I can actually go back and chuckle over them years later, whereas with Facebook they just disappear into cyber limbo, most probably never to be seen again. So here they are (along with a few other fun memories), mined out of Facebook back to about a year ago when I joined up on Facebook.

Dec. 20, 2008
A few minutes ago I was slicing a tomato for Sunshine. She wanted it cut in circle slices. One of the slices had a membrane going down the middle with seed pockets on each side.She said, “Hey! That’s not a tomato! It’s a pig nose!” (She always speaks with exclamation marks.)

“A pig nose?” says I.

“Yeah!” she said. “You know, a snot!” (No, that’s not a typo.) And naturally she proceeded to demonstrate by holding the slice up in front of her face and snorting enthusiastically.

She’s so ladylike. 

Jan. 11, 2009
Mom is trying to convince her son that there is no way he is getting a pet pygmie tarsier. 

Jan. 28, 2009
It was my night off. I needed a break from everyone for a while, but wasn’t sure they could leave me alone if I just stayed at home and read a book or something–even though they promised they would just pretend I wasn’t even there until morning. I went and sat at Starbucks for a while with my laptop, but after a while decided I really would be more comfortable snuggled up in a corner at home. When I got home, Cricket came running over as soon as I walked in the door, calling, “Mom! Welcome home! Come see my…” I said, “Wait! I’m not here, remember?” He stopped in his tracks. “OH YEAH! Sorry. Hey Dad! When do you think Mom might be home?” 

Feb. 6, 2009
Mom has just tucked her miniature pinscher (aka daughter) into bed after she finally finished off her last “cow butt” (aka creatively gnawed Dorito chip).

Feb. 23, 2009
3:15 pm Mom is giggling at her daughter’s new propensity to loudly announce a countdown from ten before performing any action. “I’m going to my bedroom in ten…nine…” 
9:50 pm Mom is wondering what to do with half a shortcake when all the strawberries have gotten sucked down the black hole that’s been wandering around disguised as her son.

March 10, 2009
Cricket had an end of unit review of the American Revolution. It was fun watching him realize that he was born 222 years to the day after Paul Revere’s ride.

 April 4, 2009
Mom is being swarmed by her daughter. No I don’t know how one child constitutes a swarm either, but this one manages just fine.

April 13, 2009
Mom likes the smell of daffodils and is glad her daughter insisted we each wear one in our hair today. 

April 19, 2009
Mom is officially the mother of an actual, real, genuine, bona fide LDS deacon. Way cool! (And a little surreal.)

April 22, 2009
Sunshine: “Why do we have a question mark, but no answer mark?

April 27, 2009
When I woke up this morning breakfast was already on the table courtesy of my 6 year-old. She tells me it’s “Nice Day”. I think I like Nice Day. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “have a Nice Day”. 

May 2, 2009
Hahaha! You’ve gotta love kids. Sunshine is looking at a new life-sized (for a child) poster that came with her book order and shows what people look like inside, including the skeleton, organs, and blood vessels. Her reaction? “Wow! Insides are COLORFUL!”

 May 4, 2009
Sunshine to me: “Mom, what’s a mummy?” Me: “Ummm….” Sunshine: “Wait! Nevermind, I remember. It’s a zombie wrapped up in lots of toilet paper!” (Ok…maybe this one DOES need to be homeschooled…lol!)

 May 11, 2009
You know you live an exciting life when the child you’ve always thought of as the “easy” one scores in the clinical range of all three types of ADHD on the evaluations.

 May 15, 2009
Sunshine: “Mom, is the future REAL?”I asked her what she thought about that. She said she thinks it IS real because it’s only time we haven’t gotten to yet.

 May 16, 2009
Sunshiney observation of the day: “We taste the good smell with our nosies.”

 May 17, 2009
Quote of the day (Cricket to Sunshine): “Go be pink somewhere ELSE!”

 May 28, 2009
Now there’s something you don’t hear everyday…lol. Elizabeth says, “Hey Mom! I’m making an undead friend!” (She’s excavating plastic dinosaur bones from a block of plaster and assembling them.)

 June 1, 2009
Sunshine quote of the day: “Mom, I keep burping out my back end!”

June 15, 2009
Sunshine funny of the day: “Remember how I made Mom breakfast in bed for Mothers’ Day? I’m gonna make Dad breakfast in bed for Fathers’ Day and his birthday. It’s gonna be a SURPRISE! And guess what. When it’s MY birthday I’m gonna make ME a surprise TOO!”  

June 20, 2009
Sunshine, on bathing: “I always do my hair last, because it’s very special to me. It makes me look FEMALE.” (I’m glad being female is special to her.)

June 25, 2009
Sunshine just walked in to inform me that she has a million Sunshines in her pocket. Inflatable ones. I sometimes think I should hire her out to novelists and screenwriters.

July 10, 2009
“Mom…my smoothie’s ALIVE!” Sunshine was alternately blowing and sucking through her straw ever so slightly, making the thick smoothie move rhythmically up and down slightly in the glass as though it were breathing.

July 16, 2009
I’m FLOORED! My 12 year old son just accurately described the hospital room in which he was born from memory, including an oddly shaped wall and the color of the bassinet in which he slept. He says he also remembers that I had to lie down most of the time, and that he watched me eat a sandwich with lettuce in it.

July 19, 2009
So proud and happy! Daniel actually passed the sacrament for the first time in church today. That takes a lot of guts for this particular kid, and he did great. I tell ya, there’s a real man lurking in there somewhere.  

July 30, 2009
Sunshine:  “Mom, to play with my new ipet you need 3 things, if you’re me–my ipet, my ipod, and my connector cord. But you need 4 things if you’re not me.” I asked what 4 things. “My ipet, my ipod, my connector cord, and my permission.”

Aug. 1, 2009
Sunshine: “It’s hard to make friends with someone who is a lot older than you and also has Asperger’s.” 

 Aug. 7, 2009
Every now and then I get the feeling that those big, juicy grasshoppers clinging to the screen of the sliding door are doing pretty much the same thing that we do when we go to the zoo. Is it mere coincidence that the only logical place for the dining room table is right in front of it, or is it because feeding time at…tracts the animals to the front of the exhibit so that the zoo patrons can view more easily?

 Aug. 11, 2009
Pondering the possibilities. 1) He’s been replaced by a robot. 2) Invasion of the body-snatchers is based on a true story. 3) He’s finally noticed that he gets extra privileges when he goes above and beyond and he wants something from me. 4) he’s actually growing up into a more mature, more responsible young man. I’m… sort of leaning toward #1 at the moment.

 Aug. 13, 2009
Note to self: Having a bucket of icky poopy water from the bottom of a frog tank that has not been cleaned in far too long dumped all down the front of you is a bit of a downer, even if it’s accidental.

Aug. 14, 2009
Arright now, the booklet that came with these here froggies said that it takes special laboratory conditions to make them breed. Ha! This is at least the third time since we’ve had them that I’ve woken up to eggs all over the tank. And I don’t think letting the tank get unusually disgusting and then cleaning it constit…utes “special laboratory conditions”. Frog eggs anyone? 

Aug. 16, 2009
Sunshine-ism of the day: “But Mom, I LIKE to fight. It’s fun, AND it’s good exercise.”

Aug. 20, 2009
Sunlight slanting in through the sliding door, giggles coming through the screen from the back yard, and a sparkly eyed seven year old with a fist full of weed flowers just for me…does life really get any better? 

Aug. 21, 2009
Things you never imagined having to say out loud: “Hey! No vaporizing your sister!”

Aug. 22, 2009
Yay! The “classroom” in the corner of the kitchen is all set up and the kids’ workbox drawers are all loaded up with Monday’s assignments. This is gonna work! (Right?) 

Aug. 22, 2009
(Not about the kids, but the memory makes me smile so I’m tossing it in.)
If you are a male African clawed frog, and you get a little overly enthusiastic at feeding time and suddenly find that you’ve accidentally swallowed your lady friend’s foreleg up to the elbow and she kicks you in the face so hard you fly all the way across the tank and hit the wall….do you think that ruins your chances for a romantic interlude once the lights go out of an evening? 
They were both going after the food pellets like crazy, and then all of a sudden they both froze and the male had this look on his face like “holy crud! That’s her ARM in my mouth” and she’s got this look on her face like, “I KNEW you just saw me as a piece of meat” and then she rips her arm out of his throat and plants her big old hind flipper smack on his face and shoves him across the tank. She’s at least 3 times bigger than him so he was totally out of his league. They’ve been very “cozy” lately (thus the eggs I whined about earlier), and I couldn’t help but wonder if accidentally eating your mate might take the passion out of the relationship…y’know…if you were a frog.

Aug. 24, 2009
Well, day 1 of homeschooling ADHD Princess along with Aspie Knight of the Realm was a raging success. Whew! The system worked just as planned. And what’s more, they were cheerful about it except for one minor panic attack over writing an outline of the day’s reading in science. But it was SCIENCE after all, so he got o…ver it quickly and did the work adequately. Yay! 

Aug. 27, 2009
11:07 am
I’m having one of those days when I kind of wish that Pop would go off to an office somewhere and the kids would both go off to school, and I could have a few hours to just be me. I’m trying to remind myself that this stage of having all my dear ones so near will be gone before I’m ready and I’ll be wishing they’d call or write.
1:28 pm
Squabble solved! Headphones. Yay for headphones! Evidently music keeps Sunshine from feeling obligated to fill the “scary” silence with random noise and inane chatter, and Cricket can concentrate on math much better when listening to bagpipes and drums than to his sister. I can relate. Why did I decide to keep her home this year again?

Sept. 10, 2009
Overheard at supper: (Sunshine) “Wow, this tastes GOOD!” (Cricket) “They say hunger is the best sauce!” (He’s into sayings and figures of speech right now) “Wait. Does that mean that kids who are really starving actually LIKE brussels sprouts?” 

Sept. 11, 2009
The problem with being sick (according to Sunshine): 1) You don’t feel good. 2) You are TRAPPED in your house (or your Grandma’s house if you get sick while you’re visiting her) AND not only that, but 3) You NEVER get to see ANY of your friends. Also, 4) You feel very, very HOT. SOOO hot that you feel like you’re burning UP. And did I mention? You are TRAPPED IN YOUR HOUSE! You cannot go ANYWHERE! 

Sept. 14, 2009
Sunshine: ”Mom, if my love for you was a animal it woud be a ELEPHANT!” (She may have a career ahead of her in the greeting card industry.) 

Sept. 16, 2009
Mom has been successfully buttered up by her son for a half hour extra at bedtime. How can you say no to a kid who sets the table and gets dinner out of the oven and ready to go without being asked? (Not to mention offers a heartfelt apology for “all that stuff I did when I was younger and less responsible and never apologized for”…lol…) 
I gave him the heartless “No,” this afternoon when he asked if he could stay up late tonight because he was so good on our excursion today. I gave him the even more heartless, “Not tonight. And do not ask me again,” a few minutes later when he asked me if there was a way he could EARN a later bedtime. And THEN he went and put supper on the table… See More, even carefully lining up the silverware and did not even ask if he could therefore stay up late. He just did it. I’m not normally such a pushover, but it was kind of a big deal and he did not nag, so I relented. I kind of want to encourage this sort of behavior.

Sept. 22, 2009
Life, according to Sunshine: “Oh! I have hiccups! That means I ate too much. THAT’s how you get hiccups. And if you still eat more and go PAST the hiccup line you get to the THROW UP line. And if you go past THAT line, then you get hungry again.” 

Sept 23, 2009 
Well, the fairytale is ended. My daughter sat me down for a frank discussion about Santa. She feels so smart for figuring it out, and so grown up for being in on Santa’s secret. Sigh…they grow up so FAST!

Sept. 25, 2009
According to my smart-alec son, a change in state occurs when matter experiences an increase or decrease of thermal energy sufficent to move to Utah. (Good grief. Give it a rest already. You were three years old at the time!) 

Sept. 30, 2009
Sunshine: “Mom. Can I tell you my favorite thing in the whole world that’s not you?” 

Oct. 1, 2009
I love it when a lesson sticks. Today we got ice cream cones and I let the kids get theirs dipped. Daniel said, “Hey look, it’s science in action! I know how that works now. The thermal energy in the dip is transferred to the ice cream and the air, causing the dip to change state from a liquid to a solid.” (Go Teacher-mom!) 

Oct. 2, 2009
Sunshine has decided to be magnanimous and has allowed Cricket an entire day’s break from being locked up in her imagination FOREVER. She stuffed him in there a couple of days ago with the threat never to let him out.

Oct. 6, 2009
(At 7:50 on the way home from a “field trip”): “MOM! In ten minutes it will be my bedtime. I have to tell you, Mom, if I am not at home when it’s my bedtime I tend to have ISSUES!” (Ahem….you don’t say….)

Oct. 10, 2009
Daily giggle: One of Sunshine’s friends came to the door while she was upstairs dressing and I was folding laundry. Due to a miscommunication, Cricket had sent her away by the time I came down to tell her Sunshine would be ready soon. I asked which friend it had been so we could straighten things out. He gave me a disgusted look and said, “I don’t know, all her friends look the same to me.”

Oct. 11, 2009
Everytime I sit down today my daughter climbs up in my lap to snuggle. A little while ago I said, “You’re sure cuddly today.” She said, “Mom, you’re cuddly all the time. It’s because you’re so soft and squishy.” (That’s a compliment, right? Right?)

Oct. 18, 2009
 Sunshine: “I was trying to scare the normal out of you, Mom!”

Oct. 23, 2009
Overheard at my house: (Sunshine)”Cricket, can you help me with this bomb? I need to blow something up.”

Nov. 3, 2009
(Not funny, but something to remember)
11:21 am
To do list: Breakfast. Force cranky, ungrateful girl to get dressed and sort her laundry. Explain about c’s and k’s in spelling. Discuss boy’s C grade on his math quiz (what was going on THERE?). Force girl child to read for 15 whole minutes. Explain atomic structure. Read ancient Celtic story. Take boy to doctor to in…vestigate numbness in limbs. — Oh, there’s never a dull moment around here, lemme tellya.
3:27 pm
I’m  glad the neural exam results were “normal” (as usual), but a little frustrated that (yet again) there is no medical explanation for her son’s weird symptoms. The most they can tell us is that the numbness in his limbs today is NOT a lot of scary things, and that it’s something that sometimes just seems to happen in …kids with sensory disorders. Kind of like the unexplainable seizures and temporary deafness.

Nov. 8, 2009
Sunshine at lunch today: “SOUP LEECH! AAAAAAAaaah! There’s a LEECH in my soup!” (I put a little shredded cheese on top of the broccoli cheese soup as garnish and evidently a glob of it had stuck to a cracker Sunshine was poking around in her bowl and stayed latched on when she lifted it out of the bowl. I love her imagination. She constantly cracks me up, and laughing is the best way to get through life.

Nov. 15, 2009
Overheard at my house: C:”I found your dreams under the living room couch right next to your broken imagination.” S:”Well I found your hopes. Your old, broken hopes.” C:”I found your old broken brain.” S:”Eh…I grew a new one.” 

Nov. 18, 2009
I am not sure exactly how listening to blaring bagpipe music on headphones, humming along with the pipes, while stomping feet to the beat of the drums makes it easier to concentrate on the math quiz, but it seems to be working. I keep picturing him doing it in a public school classroom though, and it makes me giggle.

Nov. 22, 2009,
Breakfast in bed this morning from my darling daughter. String cheese and jelly beans. 

Nov. 22, 2009, 8:21 pm
It’s a good thing Sunshine started the day out on her mother’s good side. This afternoon she dragged me into the bathroom to show me that she now weighs a whole 41 pounds. She was so excited! Then she wanted to see how much I weighed, so I obligingly stepped on the scale. Her response: “Wow! And you’re not even falling through the floor!” 

 Nov. 30, 2009
Sunshine says: “Mom, there’s no such thing as a normal person.” (I completely agree.)

Dec. 2, 2009, 10:58 am
Cricket’s idea of future computer technology: A watch-sized supercomputer with a holographic touch-screen interface. Sunshine’s idea of future computer technology: A hat with a built in TV, computer, and shopping list. 

Dec. 2, 2009, 7:06 pm
 She kept contradicting EVERY. THING. I. SAID. I told her to stop being contrary. She said she’s not. What does contrary mean? I said it means disagreeing just to disagree, or arguing just to argue, especially about minor things. She said she was NOT being contrary. I said see what I mean? She said no she did not. She was not being contrary. Then she started agreeing with everything I said…just to prove I was wrong.

Dec. 7, 2009
Daily dose of Sunshine: “I love cows. They’re DELICIOUS!”

Dec. 8, 2009
Oh yes, this actually did come out of my very own mouth today, “Hey kids, it’s cleanup time right now, so focus on cleaning up. You’ll have to wait and discuss shark breeding after the timer beeps.”

Dec. 11, 2009
Kid funny of the day, this time from Cricket: “Whoah! Mom that was really AMAZING. I just looked up and I was SO AMAZED!” Me: “Really, what was so amazing?” Him: “I don’t know. Just normal stuff I guess, but usually when I walk around I watch the ground, or just the things right around me. This time I happened to look up and I noticed how AMAZING everthing is. It’s just AMAZING!”

Dec. 26, 2009
Sunshine: “Mom, I’m confused.” Me: “What are you confused about?” Sunshine: “I don’t know.” Me: “Well, I hope you figure it out.” Sunshine: “But Mom, that’ll take until I forget!”